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Thursday, March 18, 2004 Have you ever tried throwing a live cat in a sack? Roping up the sack's mouth and then making an effort to keep the thrashing sack still?Or have you ever tried sitting a top a power keg knowing it's going to blow up any minute? Or have you ever tried keeping a very exciting happening in your life secret? That's what I feel like these days. I have to travel early next week. And I would not want the world to know of it (blog readers are a different, they don't know me in person...and secondly, blogging about the matter, any matter for that matter, is cathartic). It isn't as if I am undertaking a highly guarded secret mission but whatever I am to embark on, if all goes well on this trip, will be a whole new road in the journey of life for me. I have to go to London. And I have never been there. And I can get as much help as I want but as I did say, people ask so many questions and this whole deal is still under wraps. I've been sitting on this since last week. It isn't easy being in my shoes I tell you. As it is I have alienated quite a lot of my extended family members. They love my by default but all the same don't approve of my highly independent, oh-so-professional and MashaAllah successful working-woman lifestyle. The moment I tell anyone that I have to go to LDN, eyebrows hit the ceiling...and if I tell them it's a personal/professional business trip, eyebrows would catch a NASA unapproved chartered shuttle to Mars (taking their limited thinking skills with them). It's so out rightly scandalous! And unfair to say the least. Na Khuda hi mila na wisal e sanam Na idhar ke rahe na udhar ke rahe I try to keep a balance between the deen and dunya. The self proclaimed guardians of Deen think I am a vice-ridden menace, those deep in the love of Dunya label my bland, puritan, and what I call Shar'ai mode of living as a loser's life. I try to lead a good girl’s life. The only problem is, it's not good enough for some and too good for others. I can't for the life of me figure out what lacks in the equation. When I was young (younger than I am now anyway) I thought I could do what I want and let the world go to hell with what they thought of my actions. Not anymore. With time came the realization that you have to live in this world and what people say, how their tongues wag does have an effect on your life. And that I do care to a certain extent what people think about me. Who would not want to live a loved/admirable life? What I do care about is the fact that any tongue wags aimed at me take a toll on my family, people I love more than anything else. It disturbs them. And while they are a fairly open-minded, fair lot, there are times when they yield in to societal pressure; pressure meant for me, but borne by my family so that I can do what I want. Isn't it an absolute blessing for me? Or am I doing something wrong in here? Subjecting them to all this? Should I just sit back and let other people decide what I should do in life (if they had it their way, I would be working on the roundness of a perfect roti for the rest of my life). Or should I follow my heart and do what that extremely gifted mind of mine deems right, hoping, as always, that there is only behteri in all that comes from Allah (SWT). |
Who, what, huh? Welcome to an unplugged dose of bordering on vicious diatribe. It is intelligent (but of course) and it is across the board and border. But never would it make a drab read. Blogging just got better, as Akvetcher and Aysh join verbal forces. the world hasn't seen the last of us yet. And the best is still to come. Convinced? Bookmark us already... The Archives
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